When Did the Internet Become so Mean

When Did the Internet Become so Mean?

When you look at that you may laugh.  Part of it is funny.  But there’s some truth to it.  How is it that the internet has become so bitingly mean?  And I say this as a very connected person.  I’m on Facebook, I tweet for my job, my professional development, and a personal Twitter account.  I have an Instagram for my class, and one for personal use.  I downloaded the Snapchat app.  (I still have no idea how to work it!)  I surf news sites, education sites, sites for writers.  Heck, I have a blog, and I freelance as a writer.  I like the internet.  I remember when it was so new we had the dial up modems, but there were so many possibilities!  We would be able to talk to people online, and get information online.  And that all came to fruition; because of social media I have been able to stay connected with friends, and I have been able to reconnect with friends who could have been long forgotten.  I constantly get information online.  And sometimes a news story comes along that unifies everyone; the ice bucket challenge for ALS, the teen who took his terminally ill mom to Prom, or cute lip syncing videos by Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard. 

And then May 29, 2016 happened and the internet lost its mind.  I’m sure you’ve heard by now, there was a tragic incident on May 29^th at the Cincinnati Zoo.  A child got into the gorilla enclosure, and a gorilla was put down.  It was tragic because a little boy was traumatized and hurt, an endangered animal was shot, and I can’t even imagine what this mother was thinking as she watched her son be flopped around.  All of a sudden everyone on the internet became an animal conservationist.  And an expert on gorillas.  And an expert on parenting.  And began to call for the mother to have her kids taken away, shot, or called a list of expletives that I don’t feel comfortable repeating here.  (You know what I didn’t see?  Concern for the child.  Understanding for the parent.)

I could go into my thoughts on this.  Who is to blame and in fact I almost did.  But then I thought, why.  Why do we have this need to blame somebody?  The mom, the zoo, the child, society.  Why do we need to have an immediate answer and resolution?  Will it make everything better?  Will it change what happened?

Can’t we just read a story without the need to fill the comments section with hateful language about people we don’t know, and will never meet?  With stories like these, where people are thrust into the limelight, and never asked to be, why do we insist on giving them our two cents?

Why are we so mean?

Why don’t we take a minute and think about what we’re going to write?

(And why don’t we proofread-but that’s a different story!) 

I know there isn’t an answer out there for this, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to write this.  And maybe that makes me part of the problem, I don't know.  I do know that way back in the reign of AOL, I never imagined that the internet would be used to spew such hatred.  

Reflecting about this, I was reminded that there are good news stories out there so for your further reading…

Teen Takes Mom to Prom

Toto Lip Syncing Video

ALS Challenge

Art is Vital

Art is vital.  It is around us in the air we breathe.

“It’s okay to feel sad.  But when you do, make films, draw, make something.  It’ll make a world of difference.”  Pete Docter, one of the co-creators for Inside Out said this in his Oscar acceptance speech.  Ever hear something you know will be a classic quote?  It resonated with me that night, I carried it to work the next day, and it keeps popping up, every time we lose someone we value as an artist.

David Bowie.

Alan Rickman.

Glen Frey.

Harper Lee.

Gary Shandling.

Doris Roberts.

Prince.

The list goes on.  And thanks to social media, this generation’s answer to the water cooler, we see the memes, people post their tributes, news articles are shared.  You know what I’m not seeing on social media?  “I can’t believe (insert artist here) died!  They were so rich!” Instead it’s “Purple Rain is falling” or “Always”.  And why is this?  Why in these cynical times where people feel they can hide behind a keyboard, why are these the tributes flowing in?  (And yes, I am sure the posts are out there that say who cares, let’s talk about real issues” but I’m just focusing on how people are grieving.)  These tributes have one thing in common.  Art.  It is the one thread that ties us together as people.  Art.  Whether singing, storytelling, telling jokes, it is a gravitational pull we feel.  We thrive on storytelling, and as cliché as it sounds, there are performers who provide the soundtrack to our lives. 

We need art. 

We need it at home to enjoy.

We need it in our classrooms to learn about the world around us.  To learn about empathy.

We need music in our cars to get through the daily grind.

We need art on our walls to calm and soothe us.

We need stories so we can escape to other worlds, journey to lands afar, step into someone’s shoes.

We need poetry to express our love.

We need expression.

We need the escape.

This is what we need to remember in times like this when we lose another valued member of the arts world.  We need to mourn, we need to remember and enjoy their art, but we need to keep art.  Keep it in our homes, communities, our schools.  Keep it by remembering it, by discussing it, and by creating it.  Create art in your corner of the world.  Create it and don’t stop; paint, sing, write.  The world needs art, and more importantly, your world needs YOUR art.

Art is vital.  As vital as the oxygen that surrounds us.  Don’t believe me?  Look around at the tributes for a lost artist.  If not today, but the next time an artist is ripped from us too soon.  If you’re still not convinced, consider our money.  Let’s face it, Alexander Hamilton was going to lose his spot on the ten dollar bill, until a little musical came out and took Broadway by storm. 

Once more from Oscar winner Pete Docter “It’s okay to feel sad.  But when you do, make films, draw, make something.  It’ll make a world of difference.”  Go make your difference.

Out with the Old in with the New (and Vaguely Familiar)

I’ve been writing entries for my blog…I just haven’t posted them.  Why?  Pick a reason; too busy to proofread, the holidays are here and I worked myself into a haze of butterball cookies and cheesecake, writer insecurities…really the list is endless.  However here I am itching to write something, or plan something for my students and I remembered; I can do both.  I have the same survey I pass out each year to my student, and this year will be no different. 

But why Shannon?  Why write down resolutions when you know most are broken anyway.  And really what does it accomplish?  Simply put, it’s good to have goals.  It’s good to reflect on your life.  And why not do that during the time of year when everything is changing?  So without further ado…

Name: Mom, Shannon, Mrs. McLoud, Miss Shannon

Favorite Food:  Chocolate…this never changes!

Age:  36 (normally I don’t answer this, but the kids figured it out this year!)

Favorite activity: Reading/writing

Favorite color: Pink!

Favorite book:  Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Jane Eyre, The Great Gatsby, To Kill a Mockingbird…it changes with my mood.  This is not a fair question! 

Highlights of 2015

Greatest Lesson Learned:

Hmmm…to take a page from Elsa and “Let it Go”.  I have not achieved this, I do from time to time obsess over things.  This year I have learned that when I do let things go, I am happier, and my stress goes way down.  Less stress is a good thing! 

Hardest Thing This Year:

Finding the balance between work and life!  I haven’t achieved this entirely, however I have been doing more work at school, which gives me more time at home to enjoy my family. 

Favorite Memory:

I feel that it’s the same memory every year, but once again yes, the family trip to Disney makes the list!  This year we went for twelve days.  Twelve days in the family bubble, and the icing on the cake was time spent with Dave’s cousin and his family.  The guys didn’t grow up together since they live so far away from one another but you wouldn’t know that when we get together!  It was one of those moments that illustrate the importance of family.  I had a ton of those moments this year, but the Disney trip really illustrated that.

What I Loved About 2015:

Looking back, 2015 was a pretty great year.  There was a lot to love!  Some highlights…

Getting my own classroom!  Last school year I traveled rooms each period, and I found out in August this year that I would have my own classroom!  I was able to decorate it in my geeky glory, and it validated me as an educator.  I FEEL like part of the faculty this year, not just the nomad teacher!

I co-wrote a play that was part of the Providence Fringe Fest-that was an amazing feeling!  And I started writing for a newspaper writing about something I love-theatre.

I also staged a play in the most unlikely of places-a local bookstore.  I was in geek heaven!

Looking Forward to 2016!

Want to Learn:

I always want to learn more effective ways of teaching.  At this point it’s a given, but I feel that I should write it down each year as a constant reminder that I’m not done yet! 

How to have a life while enjoying my career.  I don’t think I realized what a hermit type life I live during the school year, until this week.  I don’t make the time to hang out with friends, or sit and write, or sometimes do laundry.

And yes, cooking is still on the docket.  When my child is frightened when he sees me go to the kitchen, it’s time to learn how to cook!

Want to Get Better At:                                      

Time management and organization.  Every year I think about this, and every year I am optimistic that it will happen.  This year, I’ll be a realist.  I would like to get better at organizing a corner of my life, not my entire life.  And I would like to get better at time management when grades are due!  Baby steps!

Goals for 2016:

Before I make goals, I have to look at last year’s goals.  Did I make them?  After this year’s production of Carol’s Christmas, I can certainly say, with confidence that RTC is growing.  Watching an audience enjoy something that literally takes a village to build, is amazing.  I’m really proud of it.  But there is still much work to be done!

I did NOT run my third 5K.

I did NOT publish my novel.  (Although I did have my students participate in NANOWRIMO so that was amazing!)

So my new goals? 

Certainly to continue making theatre.  It’s time consuming, and stressful at times…but I can’t picture my life without it!

To run a 5K.  I enjoy running.  It helps me think, and obviously it helps me fit into my clothes.  And I haven’t done any running in about six months.  There aren’t any excuses there except that I’m not making the time for it.  And I know you can’t just jump up and run a 5K…so I need to get my butt in gear and return to running!

Publish my novel.  It would be really nice not to see this under my goals next year.  I’m not looking for an agent, in fact I really feel that self-publishing (similar to my plays) is the way to go.  So what am I waiting for?  (Besides a good editor!)  So this is it.  I am going to publish my novel this year.  If it’s in writing it will happen right?  Otherwise I’m going to have to have this picture follow me around.

I can’t just start 2016 with the same goals from last year however, so let’s add to these shall we?

Professionally:  I would like to begin next school year OWNING my position. 

Academically:  I finished my MA in 2015, so you would think academics would no longer be a goal.  However, I wouldn’t mind looking into my NCTE Certification.  And begin to pay off my loans!

Personally:  These are staying the same…run, write, create!

So there you have it….2015.  You were a good year!  Looking forward to 2016 with hope and optimism!

My Dad

I know I post this every year, but it's my yearly tribute in memory of my Dad...

How exactly do you eulogize a man like James Vescera?  He was many things to many people; husband, Dad, father in law, uncle, brother, brother in law, friend.  All roles he performed with the utmost of importance.  I could stand here and tell you what a horrible disease this is, that took my Dad from us far too early, but when I look back on my life, and when I tell stories about him to Brady or any of mine and David’s future children, I will not focus on HD, I’ll focus on all the little things that made my Dad so great.  Like Halloween.  Every Halloween he would put on this ridiculous old guy mask, to take us trick or treating.  Every year.  
I’ll remember the father and daughter dances where he would do what I called his Frankenstein dance, and I would get annoyed.  Not at his lack of dancing ability because as we all know, I can’t dance either, but I would get annoyed that every other Dad at these dances had to come up and talk to my Dad.  Or how every Christmas it was hard to see who was more excited, Jay and myself, or our Dad.  And how much he loved to tease my Mom every year for Christmas or her Birthday with the worst wrapping job known to man.  Or how he would make up little annoying nicknames for my Mom.  How proud he was whenever I was in a play, no matter how bad some of them were.  How he coached my brother’s T-Ball team, and never was the Dad to get ultra competitive, he would just laugh when instead of looking for fly balls Jay was looking for bugs.  How even though he had to take a night job, that was far below his qualifications because he was getting sick, he still took the time to take me out driving so I could learn to drive, which is probably why I can parallel park, and have a huge love for the Doors and Classic rock.  I’ll think of all of our family trips, North Conway where we would cross country ski, go to the Polar Caves, our trip to Disney, Dad loved amusement park rides, and to this day I can’t think of Disney without picturing his face after the Back to the Future ride.  
 I’ll remember the wood car he and my brother made for Boy Scouts one year, he was so proud to have done that.  I’ll never forget how he even designed our house in Scituate, did so much of the construction, the electrical, and even the painstakingly hard job of hardwood floors, plank by plank with my grandfather.  How every Sunday at my Grandparents, we knew if there was a new recipe, Jimmy would like it.  Or how he was teased by his friends earning him the longest nickname in history “Jim V as in Victor e-s-c-e-r-a.”
I’ll remember having chocolate cake or cold pizza sometimes in the morning for breakfast, and how he used to let my friends tease him about his minor beer belly.  
I’ll remember his fabulous sense of humor.  Even at times where most parents would be aggravated, we could say something and he would find humor in the situation.
I’ll remember times where he stood up for what he believed in, when it came to his brother Danny, or Tommy, or even once a friend of mine in Elementary School
I’ll remember how much he loved his grandchildren, Jay and myself, David and Courtney, and my Mom.
I’ll remember how he never once complained about his illness, how he took it on like he took on everything, with courage and strength.

The saying is a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.  After last night and today, it is obvious our Dad had a large heart.  Thank you for loving our Dad.

So, just how do you eulogize a great man like my Dad?  By going out and living like he did, hug your loved ones, never let a minute go by to tell them you love them.  Laugh every day.  Be courageous, strong and above all be selfless.  That is the kind of daily tribute you could all give my Dad.

Don't Read That-It's For GIRLS!

I’m a Mom of a funny, adorable, smart, little boy.  He likes soccer, hockey, the Patriots, Legos, trucks, radio controlled planes, riding his bike, making a mess, art, musicals, and television.  He likes watching cooking shows that feature Bobby Flay, cartoons like Star Wars Rebels, Scooby Doo, Wild Kratts, and yes Doc McStuffins and Sofia the First.  GASP!  Aren’t those shows for girls?  As parents, we have never classified anything as “for boys” or “for girls.”  You like what you like, and that’s the end of it.  There are no “girl colors” and there are no “boy jobs.”  We have done this for two reasons.  One, I don’t want him to feel that there are things he can’t enjoy because he’s a boy, and two, I don’t want him to treat women as if they, and their interests, are inferior.  

I am doing my best to let him make his own choices.

I am doing my best to teach him that men and women are equal.

I am doing my best to not raise a chauvinistic man.

Unfortunately, sometimes the outside world doesn’t help.  Since entering the public school system, my son has come home from time to time asking if something is “girly” and if he is allowed to like something.  When it comes to t.v. shows I explain that they are written by writers, just like Mommy writes plays.  I then ask him if my plays are only for girls, or only for boys.  The answer generally satisfies him and he goes back to doing whatever he was doing.

This week a friend shared an author’s blog on Facebook.  The blog shared was Shannon Hale’s, author of the Princess Academy series.  This is not a series I am familiar with, but after reading her blog, I have to pick up one of her books.  The blog entry that is circulating is about the troubling phenomenon that happens at her appearances, mainly schools.  It seems that when she visits a school, the boys are not invited to the assembly.  Shannon does not write books about the female body, or books that are anti-boy.  Apparently her faux pas is far worse; she uses the word princess is in the title of her books. 

As a society, we seem so worried about how girls perceive themselves.  And rightly so.  I was raised by a mother who constantly told me that only my looks mattered during my most impressionable years.  (Luckily I’ve always been a bit of a rebel and didn’t abide by her backwards school of thought!)  I understand the importance of empowering girls.  I hope I do so as an educator, and if I ever have a daughter, I hope to do so as a mother.  However, it seems that boys get lost in the mix today.  Where is the movement to let our boys know that it is okay to use a pink Easy Bake Oven, or watch a television show that has a girl as the protagonist; or God forbid, a book?  Telling boys that some colors, shows, or books, are not for them and are only for girls teaches them that there is a difference between the sexes and should be treated so.  If we really want to empower girls, let’s tell the boys that it’s okay to like whatever it is that they like.  We often hear of women getting less pay than men, but we start out telling boys that their interests are superior to girls, as long as they don’t share a common ground.  Because when you do, it’s “girlie” and “not for boys” which undeniably sends the message to our impressionable boys that girls, then women, are inferior.

I attached Shannon Hale’s blog.  Her story is a good one.  She made me think, and I bet she’ll make you think as well!  I haven’t blogged in ages, in fact this is the first time I have done so in 2015.  Her words made me jump up and start writing.

Shannon Hale's Awesome Blog

Come on 2015! Can't Wait to Meet You!

It’s that time again.  We’re all making resolutions…maybe mine should be to write more since I haven’t written since the summer!  Last year I had my students fill out a resolutions sheet, and I’m doing it again.  However, this time is different.  This time the students are my students, not students I will only have for a short time.  This year I can revisit their goals, or remind them about their goals.  But of course if I’m having my students do it, I need to as well.  Not only is that the easiest way to get them to trust me enough to write their goals, but this year I am teaching ESl-I model everything!  Of course my version for my students will probably not be this long so I can fit it on the graphic organizer.  And as much as I am honest with my students, things that are too personal don’t need to be shared with them!  So without further ado…

Name: Mrs. McLoud/Miss Shannon/Mom

Favorite food: Chocolate! 

Age:  You seriously didn’t think I would answer this one did you?

Favorite activity: reading/writing

Favorite color: Pink!

Favorite book: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows…or maybe The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, or Jane Eyre.  Honestly, this is not a fair question for someone of my nerdy stature!

Highlights of 2014

Greatest lesson learned:  It’s hard to pick just one lesson isn’t it?  Hard work pays off!  I sent out countless resumes, had many interviews, worked my butt off in school-and now I have a position that I LOVE!  It wasn’t easy, but as I sit here typing this, during my two week vacation with my son, I feel rewarded and content.

Hardest thing this year:  All the rejections from the job interviews.  Although the silver lining is that because of those rejections I ended up where I am now-at the time I had no idea things would work out so well!

Favorite memory:  Disney World with my family.  It’s cliché, but it is the happiest place on Earth!  You are forced to be in a family bubble, where it doesn’t matter if your child is a little too loud, or wants to run.  Epcot feeds my British obsession!  And the weather is beautiful!

What I loved about 2014: Finding a great school to work in, with amazing students!  I look forward to every Monday!  I love walking the halls and getting greetings from my students, or when one has a breakthrough.  (The last week of school one of my students blurted out “Miss I need a drink!” and it was the most unsolicited English I have heard from her that I almost hugged her!) 

I also love watching my work go from page to stage.  I staged two shows that I co-wrote in 2014, and co-wrote two movies.  I never in a million years thought I could write for film, and I’m glad I tried it!  I was also published in two anthologies.  I felt like a writer, and even began to refer to myself as one.  It’s a great feeling!

And meeting new people.  Through the last year I’ve met new people that have of course in some way impacted parts of my life. 

Looking forward to 2015: 

Want to learn:  How to be a better teacher!  I will never stop learning about education, and I will never try!  I want to learn more about teaching ESL as well.  I would also like to learn some more Spanish.  My students love teaching me the very little Spanish that I now know, and I love seeing the excitement on their face when I get it right! 

And cook.  I would like to learn how to cook.

Want to get better at:  Time management and organization.  Well this didn’t change from last year!  I tend to have a lot on my plate-and I love that…I just need to manage in more “Shannon time.”  Time for writing, running, and reading!

Goals for 2015:  I looked at last year’s goals…and I hit them!  The power of the written word!  Of course my first two goals from last year aren’t too off from this year…to stage a Spring show with RTC and build our company, to run my THIRD 5K and to make better time doing so, to remember that fitness isn’t a diet- but a lifestyle I shouldn’t drop during stress, to publish my novel, to read more, to write everyday….writing is always a goal-I don’t always achieve it!

So bring it on 2015!  Can’t wait to meet you!  We have a lot to learn, and about 365 opportunities to grow!

Why We Should Stop Complaining About the ALS Challenge (I’m Looking at you Michael Hiltzik!)

* My usual disclaimer is in full effect here folks!  I don’t mean to offend anyone, so stop reading here if you think you’ll be offended.  I know many of you have very valid reasons for not getting on board with this particular fundraising venture.  These are simply my thoughts as someone who watched her Dad succumb to an incurable disease.

We’ve all seen it by now; friends, relatives, neighbors, and even celebrities dousing themselves in ice water, all in the name of ALS.  The premise is simple.  Someone challenges you via social media to dump a bucket of ice water on yourself and make a small donation, or chicken out and pay $100.  You are given the time limit of 24 hours.  It’s funny, but it’s more than that.  It’s important.  How can dumping a bucket of ice water be important?  Let me ask you, how many of you have heard of ALS before this?  Sure, you’ve heard of it as Lou Gehrig’s disease, but almost never ALS.  And maybe you don’t think that’s such a big deal?  Well believe me, as someone who has had to explain what it was that my father had, and getting more blank stares than I care to count, having a name is powerful.  My Dad didn’t die from ALS, but from Huntington’s Disease.  Like ALS it is a neurological disease with no cure.  Like ALS it is underfunded, and with the exception of a story line on Grey’s Anatomy or House, it goes virtually unnoticed.  Unless you witness someone you love go through it.

When you are watching someone go through an illness that most people cannot relate to, you feel alone.  You feel as if you are on a solitary island, with a leaky raft and one oar.  The solitude becomes almost suffocating.  When you find someone who knows what you are talking about, you feel as if you can breathe a bit easier.  For the thousands afflicted with this horrible disease, they are not as alone any more.  They still have to wake up every day and struggle through life with this disease, but they know they are not alone.  They know people are out there, and they know people are fighting…even if it is one ice bucket at a time.

I know for some of you, the challenges are annoying.  They clog your feed, they call you out publicly.  Some are afraid that people aren’t really donating money, and they are playing light of a serious situation.  Incurable diseases are serious; the pain, the loss of skills you once had, the change in lifestyle.  Having people dump ice water on themselves is silly.  But sometimes we need a little silly to get through these times where we feel alone. 

And let’s not forget the $22 million dollars that has been raised.  Michael Hilztik of the LA Times has wondered if the money should be spent on worthier causes.  Apparently, in his opinion, a cause is only worthy if it reaches a large population of people.  I don’t understand this way of thinking.  “Don’t donate to that cause-not a lot of people are affected by it.”  In my opinion, it is the rare diseases that need this type of high profile fundraising.  Think of it, most of us donate our time and money to causes that affect someone we know.  We walk the track because cancer never sleeps, we save lids to save lives, why not dump ice to raise funds for ALS?  And besides the money, let’s talk about the conversation that has started; a conversation about a disease that many people wouldn’t be talking about if they hadn’t been challenged online.  In fact, in my house we told our son that we were donating money after we made our video, and the money would help people who are sick.  Teach them young that giving is fun, and it will become a way of life.

So calm down everyone.  (And Hilztik gain some perspective!)  If you don’t like the ice bucket challenge, don’t participate in it.  But don’t bring down other people for doing something virtually harmless that will ultimately help others.  There are not that many feel good stories out there…people doing whatever small part they can to help others is something to smile at, not get up in arms.